Happy 10 Months Ali Pie

10 months Today!

Baby girl, you are still carrying your adorable plump rolls. I kiss your cheeks at a minimum 500 times a day.

• you've almost mastered climbing
• you are clapping happily
• you sing song babble "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (your favorite)
• you love screaming and squealing with your big sister
• you are walking around tables
• you smile at every stranger you see and wave, bat your eyes, and flirt.
• you like to smooch your baby friends
• you absolutely love to see dogs
• when you are really happy to see us you bite our shoulders and flap your arms and kick your legs!

We are so lucky to have you in this family! You are absolutely healing in the amount of sweetness you ooze. I really can't believe you are as happy as you are all of the time!! It's contagious!!

Today:

* I dyed my hair red.der brown (auburn)


* We have a cleaning lady named Ruby


* Ruby used Murphy's Oils soap on our floors and the house smells so clean and yummy


* I am grateful for Ruby. I am grateful for any help around the house. I am grateful for nice people.


* My hair dresser noticed I was frail and so have I. Nervousness is not a diet I recommend. Thankfully, I am getting less anxious, but I am trying to beef up again. Hence, steak dinner last night, frequent DQ stops, and the insurgence of regular soda consumption. I am eating a lot more fruits and nuts too (I'm not going to go down the crap shoot).


*I've had red wine the past two nights 1. because I don't like to waste wine 2. and most importantly it calms me down. I only have 1-1 1/2 cups. It's good for your heart, and I don't start drinking until right before or after the little ones go to bed.


*I can't stop thinking about my thumb and index finger tremors, spasms, and twitches (not all together, it happens sporadically). I feel like I have a tiny electric current between my fingers that won't settle down, it's unnerving to be punny about it. I get an EMG in a couple weeks and I'm not excited about needle prodding, but I hope the data shows that it's something benign. I just want the green light to relax, ya know?


* Not to mention my chronic knee pain, iyiyi. Why do I Feel so old at 29?

Enjoy Your Weekend!

My pride and my joy

My joy and my pride

This weekend is Mother's Day. I'm so glad we "collective mothers" have a day! We surely deserve the recognition, but we know that we get it everyday with our childrens' hugs and kisses that surprise and intercept the sourest of moods and make us all better again. I would give every last drop of life for my babies :) Give your mom a Hug and tell her again how much she means to you!

Family Space

Taken at The Clay Center for Arts and Sciences

I've been on this mission (not space, ha ha), but mission to get out and get my mind on other things by constantly being active outside of the home. Distraction? Yes, but I think eventually, with the help of my current medicaton of course, and the constant "on the go," I will eventually snap out of my gloomy worry wort syndrome and get into life again. Being proactive is being preventitive. Being happy is being a better mom, and that is most important.

Zoloft

Well, I'm going on my 4th day on Zoloft, and despite some quirky head buzzing and slight insomnia the first couple of days, I am actually starting to feel a luxurious wash of calm already. I can tell I'm more relaxed. I seem to be gliding more peacefully instead of catching every fray in the carpet (sounds like I'm comparing myself to a vacuum). Definitely am more sedated, but just enough, not zombie like, as I have felt on other anti-depressants. This was something that I was in desperate need of. I am way too high strung and spastic, even if I have a placid front, I am a circus inside. I am hopeful.

I also got many inches taken off my hair. I'm one of those emotional hair cutters. Back to my homeostasis: choppy bob to the chin.

A New Start

(a personal favorite)

I am starting Zoloft today. It's a commitment to make. I know the adjustment period is sometimes rocky, but I believe I need some supplemental adjustments to my brain chemistry. I want to operate out of a place of balance and hopefully this will help my soul feel like the {above} cheesy photograph and an Indigo Girl's song :)

I am also feeling a revelation lately, that I want to share more of my personal story. I don't want to delve into my children's or husband's -- that is theirs to share, if they want, but I believe the more you share of yourself, the more people know you, and the more people know you, the more they start to care about you. I can just meet someone and instantly they have taken a small place in my heart and I begin to think of them. I think about so many people everyday and I think that it's so similiar, if not the same, as praying for good (God) to be with them.

On a lighter note...SHOES!

American Eagle Suede Ballet Flat

In my years of buying flats, I have found that if you want a pretty flat that will undoubtedly fit you and are comftorable, then you go with the elastic banding. I find the color of these beauties refreshing, and honestly believe that any shade of green is nuetral :) These are currently under American Eagle's clearance section and for being 100% leather, these are a great find! These are a year round favorite. They have multiple colors available, including the staple black.